Diary of a trying Christian

Why are you dancing?

Why are you dancing?

For some reason, I knew if I didn’t write this article today, this feeling of restlessness and disobedience will not leave me. Its well-deserved anyway because I’ve had the inclination to write about this since Day 2 (08.10.25) of the hallelujah Challenge. I am honestly not proud of how long I have made excuses and put this off for days.

So when Pastor Lawrence said tonight( actually last night) that, breakthroughs will not move unless you vex, I had this strong urge to deliver on this.

This 8^th year Hallelujah Challenge has been a very special encounter for me. I don’t have the words to describe the “why” and the “how” but the experiences are very unique and Spirit filled. I have missed a couple of sessions but I will definitely be replaying all the episodes.

On Day 2 of the Hallelujah Challenge, I was dancing in my mom’s room when I heard a still yet present voice ask “Why are you dancing?”. It stopped me dead in the act and I started to instantly reflect. It is midnight and I am dancing to praise led by Pastor Nat.

But why am I dancing?

Is it merely a trend for me?

It is to evade guilt in the morning so that when Faridah checks in, I can say I was up participating just to satisfy that I am a good Christian and I didn’t sleep?

Was it to follow the masses online and have the sense of feel good that I joined the challenge?

Why am I dancing?

As I pondered over my answer, I started to cry. What does the Hallelujah Challenge really mean to me? I stopped dancing and I started to pray and ask God for understanding and purpose as Pastor Nat praised. I could hear the singing but it was almost as if I was in my own private session with the Holy Spirit.

Right then, the Holy Spirit opened my understanding.

I was dancing because I was worshiping. My dance was sacrifice. My mind went to the million and 1 things God has done for me throughout my life, almost like a playback scene in a movie.

I moved my hands and my legs to the tune of praise, singing along and understanding that I was dancing as praise for the blessings God has bestowed upon me.

My dance was sacrifice. It was sacrifice ahead of the blessings and joy God was bringing into my life. It was a sacrifice of surrender and commitment. It was in anticipation of the goodness and mercies promised in the word of God.

As I danced and sang along, my Spirit rejoiced because I had meaning.

Tonight I encourage you to look within you and ask yourself, “why are you dancing?” And if you struggle to find your why, think back to all the blessings you have experienced. As you move to the tune of the music, let every move of your body be in thanksgiving of the goodness and mercies of God in your life. As you wave your hand, let it be for every answered prayer. Be intentional and be present as you Halal Yeshua.

25th Oct 2025

christian, halal, hallelujah challenge, hc, Praise, worship
Like Elora
My niece is 2 years now. She does this thing we always laugh about until the Holy Spirit dropped this piece in my heart. Anytime I visit and I’m about to leave and she wants to leave with me:
1. She wears her coat.
2. She wears her boots or whatever footwear she can manage to put on by herself. Sometimes she misses the left and right foot but she puts her shoes on regardless.
3. She goes to stand by the door and just waits.
No crying, no fussing, nothing, she is just by the door. Patiently waiting. Waiting for me to say my goodbyes and do all I need to do.

She simply gets FULLY ready and she waits.

Her mom and I always laugh about it, but the Spirit of God reminded me that this is the truest depiction of faith; a childlike of complete surrender and trust.

When you think about it, Elora has done all that mom would ask her to do in order to get out of the house. Now, all she needs is for me to open the door so she can leave with me.

And often times, when I get to the door its not late or if I can have her, I actually do leave with her. She gets what she hoped for; the door is open and she gets to leave because she is ready.

In February 2024, I was reading the book of Samuel because I remember wanting to read about women in the Bible. I was reading about Hannah and I came across this scripture.

1^st Samuel Chapter verse 10 – 11, Hannah prayed to God and made a very specific vow to God.

“And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.

11And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head”.

We often talk about Hannah’s faith and how she prayed silently. But, Hannah also did something remarkable. She offered her sacrifice even before her prayers were answered. Her sacrifice was not generic. It was very specific. Like Elora, Hannah was at the door with her coat and boots on, simply waiting for the door to be opened.

So I ask, what have you been praying for?

What is that thing that is on the top list of your prayer request?

What would you do if God answered that prayer?

Instead of waiting to give thanks and honour after you receive, why don’t you give thanks right now? Amidst the delay, while in wait; celebrate with a heart full of thanks and gratitude as though ye have received.

Show God you are ready. Be like Elora, stand at the door fully dressed and wait, wait for God to open that door so you can receive that which you desire.

“Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them” Mark 11:24
1st Apr 2025

bible, christianity, faith, god, jesus
Do more, be more.

I started the year off with a lot of momentum and drive, chanting along with faith about how this year will be my best year yet and how things will be exceptional this year. I tried the NSSP 21 day fasting. Well, I’m saying tried because between you and I, there were days I didn’t fast. Days I ate as soon as I woke up because I had forgotten all about the fast. Days I simply starved and joined merely as a tick box exercise. To be honest, I know I could have done better.

My introduction is not in any way meant to imply that I’ve given up on the year already. Not at all!!

There are things I started last year that were very practical and helpful in pushing me towards things I have been delaying to do for myself; you know, as a person seeking growth and development. Just to mention a few, I have some courses that are absolutely important that I finish for work and I was also exploring some masters program. All of which require prior studies, focus and discipline.

Again, between you and I, I haven’t been consistent with actioning on these things although I know they are extremely important. I have been lazy, making excuses, sleeping. I kid you not, my alarm will go off, I will see the time and I know in my heart that I need to wake up and then I will just go back to sleep. Sometimes, I’m not even sleepy!!!

And then I will wake up and complain about how I’m not doing enough, how I need to do more and how I want more etc.

Well today, when I was saying my morning prayer, the Holy Spirit led me to the parable of the talents.

While I was praying, I prayed for forgiveness for the slumber and sleep and said to God that I know I shouldn’t be praying for forgiveness because these are things I’m doing deliberately. It doesn’t require a miracle or any doing of God. He has done his bit by giving me the gift of life, I have to do mine by getting off my bed.

As directed, I took my bible and opened to the book of Mathews chapter 25. I started reading from the parable of the 10 virgins right down to the talents, because the parables to me convey the same message; BEING PRUDENT AND APPLYING YOURSELF.

The bible clearly gave a distinction between what happened to the prudent ones and the “foolish” ones. (I was looking for a softer word but as bible talk am, whom am I ).

In the parable of the talents, the bible talks about 3 people who were given talents, each one more than the other but non without. Its safe to compare it to the human talent of skills where a person might be good at 3 things say writing, public speaking and maths. Another might be a creative great with drawing/décor and a third person good at science and everything engineering. Each one of them have been born with a set of skills and talents, but its not enough to keep them as-is. They have to develop them, study and practise consistently to build on these talents. Imagine if the creative decided to sleep on their talent complaining that all they can do is only draw so why bother. Yup!

Same as the 10 virgins, each has a lamp, but only 5 have extra oil. For me, the extra oil signifies self improvement, discipline, application, training. Basically, everything needed to be ready for an opportunity. The other 5 are me right now; sleeping, making excuses, wishing but not doing. If there was a destiny altering opportunity right now, I wouldn’t be ready. Just as the bride groom arrived and the 5 virgins without extra oil weren’t prepared.

““At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ “Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’ “ ‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’ “But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’ “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’ “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.”

Matthew 25:6-13 NIV

Just as you are praying, there are other Christians also praying. What sets us apart is our faith, preparation, development and readiness while we pray.

I am starting a new exercise from today. As I make daily declarations, I will say to myself, “I will not bury my talent!”. Why? As an awakening to myself ‘wake up’ and do more, be more.

I hope this encourages you if you are in the same space as I am right now. Join me lets scream “I will not bury my talent!”.

5th Feb 2025

bible, christianity, consistent, faith, jesus, parable
Consistency: Embracing Flexibility in Spiritual Practices
The just ended Hallelujah challenge started on the 15^th of October 2024. It was for about 14 days. I remember Faridah sending me the link every day at exactly 12:00am and blowing my phone up with calls to make sure I woke up to join. I did. Every single day.

I looked forward to the worship, praise and prayers every day. I was excited. I was in the zone! Doing the very most to make sure I caught some hours of sleep and waking up at midnight to join and pray with the Hallelujah challenge.

I remember all of us being so excited and awakened in the Spirit, speaking about our experiences and encounters for hours the next day.

I thought to myself during the challenge, “this is the new me!” with so much excitement and enthusiasm. I will wake up everyday at 12:00 to pray from here on out. I wont let this fire die.

The challenge ended around the 29^th of October if I’m not mistaken.

The first dawn after the end of the challenge, I remember vaguely waking up and staying up about 15 minutes and going back to sleep. Eeeii, me that joined and prayed with Pastor Nat for hours.

Okay, day 2. I don’t even think I managed to wake up at dawn for the next week to come.

After about 2 weeks of constant sleep and no prayer, I revised my strategy. I set my alarm to wake at 4:00am to pray and then let my day continue from there. **hahaha

The sleep that continued was a wonder. The alarm would go off, I would turn it off and readjust my sleeping position.

Some thing that the Holy Spirit is revealing to me as I type now is:
1. I was trying to do it on my own without the Strength of God. I wasn’t waking up to pray to maintain that spiritual momentum. It was more of pleasing/ satisfying my own ‘Christian mind’ that I was doing it so I don’t feel guilty about the encounters and experiences I had during the challenge.
I was jumping from 5 to 50. Let me explain. We all know our individual capacities in faith. And just like anything and everything, this capacity grows the more we nurture it. Most often than not, we have some encounters by virtue of the anointing of the atmosphere we are in, and with that we assume that we have arrived. We don’t take time to nurture our Christian walk with God.

By now, a few of you have set alarms telling yourself you will wake up at 12 or 1 or 2 to pray for 2 hours. But the truth is your capacity is about a good 20 minutes of prayers and you are maxed out. This makes the 2 hour goal look so herculean that you don’t even wake up at all to pray. You are discouraged from the start because although you have it in your heart to do it, you don’t have the mental and spiritual capacity. So why don’t you start with the 20 minutes? 10, 15, 20 minutes of prayer is way better than no prayer at all.

Does it have to be 12:00am everyday? Not at all. With my experience as being a new mom, my small madam has her own alarm. She can wake up when I’m about sneaking off to start my spiritual time and there is nothing I can do about it. Singing and worshiping with her wont put her to sleep any faster. I have to cuddle up, rock her back and forth and put her back to sleep. And this will set my time off, but that’s okay. God knows. He is there watching me all this while.

My point is, being in his presence, is not a rigid exercise that has to be fit at a particular part of the day for a specific period so much so that if it fails to happen that exact moment, then it means its not worthy of happening at all.

It’s the earnestness of the session that matters.

I wanted this to be short so I’ll stop here for today. But you get me right? Go easy (with reverence), go consistent.
26th Nov 2024

bible, consistent, faith, god, jesus, prayer, prayers
Finding Peace and Hope in Hard Times: God Does Not Make Mistakes

How do I say goodbye to my unborn child when I never had the chance to say hello?
How do I put a wreath on mama when we had so much planned?
How do we spend forever together, when you are 1,000 miles apart?
How do you promise me a lifetime and end it in days?
Where is my next paycheck ?
Where is my healing?
And by his stripes we are healed, but I’ve been sick for years and it feels like it’s going to be the death of me.
Curve balls… life will life you!
We are all going through something, whether we talk about it or not, Lord knows each one has been handed their own share.

One statement is etched deeply in my heart, “GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.”
Sometimes we go through the worst of the worst and we start to doubt if God really let this happen.

Na plans you have for me no, Afa he ? (where are the plans you have for me?)

But God does not make mistakes.

“And this small and temporary trouble we suffer will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭17‬ ‭GNT‬‬

““Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭27‬ ‭GNT‬‬

Before the ascension of Christ, he left us peace. Because he knew there would be hard days.

He left us the Holy Spirit, because he knew we would need a Comforter, a still voice to calm our storms, to teach us and direct us.

I believe trials come to show God’s Glory.
Sometimes we forget to let God be God. We focus on all things seen and plan and execute in fear, excitement or anxiety without God.
Then he will show us something small. Believe it or not, God has a sense of humor.

“Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass”.
Psalm 37:5

The story of Lazarus is one of my new found favorites. Lazarus died for days, Lazarus aa )nne Jesus b) kosua tafre. (a popular saying in twi about how close two people are.)

“Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.”
‭‭John‬ ‭11‬:‭5‬ ‭GNT‬‬

You would think that God will heal him before he died. Maybe blow a mighty wind to chase the sickness away.

And yet Lazarus died.

His family went through pain and grief burying their beloved and still no sign of Jesus. Days went by and no Jesus.

But when Jesus showed up….

“When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had been buried four days before.
“If you had been here, Lord, my brother would not have died! But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask him for.” “Your brother will rise to life,” Jesus told her. “I know,” she replied, “that he will rise to life on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me will live, even though they die; and those who live and believe in me will never die. Do you believe this?” “Yes, Lord!” she answered. “I do believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” After Martha said this, she went back and called her sister Mary privately. “The Teacher is here,” she told her, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up and hurried out to meet him. ( Jesus had not yet arrived in the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him.) The people who were in the house with Mary comforting her followed her when they saw her get up and hurry out. They thought that she was going to the grave to weep there. Mary arrived where Jesus was, and as soon as she saw him, she fell at his feet. “Lord,” she said, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died!” Jesus saw her weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched, and he was deeply moved. “Where have you buried him?” he asked them. “Come and see, Lord,” they answered. “See how much he loved him!” the people said. But some of them said, “He gave sight to the blind man, didn’t he? Could he not have kept Lazarus from dying?” Deeply moved once more, Jesus went to the tomb, which was a cave with a stone placed at the entrance. “Take the stone away!” Jesus ordered. Martha, the dead man’s sister, answered, “There will be a bad smell, Lord. He has been buried four days!” Jesus said to her, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believed?” They took the stone away. Jesus looked up and said, “I thank you, Father, that you listen to me. I know that you always listen to me, but I say this for the sake of the people here, so that they will believe that you sent me.” After he had said this, he called out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” He came out, his hands and feet wrapped in grave cloths, and with a cloth around his face. “Untie him,” Jesus told them, “and let him go.””
‭‭John‬ ‭11‬:‭17‬-‭34‬, ‭36‬-‭44‬ ‭GNT‬‬

God does not make mistakes. Be encouraged, be comforted, trust and obey. It might tarry, it might look like all hope is lost, it might look daunting and impossible, but God’s will shall prevail to His Glory.

A wise man said to me yesterday, “let’s take it a day at a time and allow God to direct it”
Bridgit

28th Aug 2024
Action over Perfection.

ACTION OVER PERFERCTION

19th Aug 2024
ACTION OVER PERFERCTION

I think I mentioned to Faridah (Faridah is my best friend and I will be casually throwing her name in articles like we all know her because we do ) that I was going to start this series about 8 months ago if not more.

I wanted the perfect platform, perfect name with the right aesthetics and this and that and everything in between. Basically every excuse not to actually start.

I actually have about two pieces already written but they don’t feel “perfect” so I have not shared them.

But what hit me today is action. There is a common saying that “it’s the thought that counts”.

But not with spirituality and our relationship with God. You can’t think about praying and not actually pray because it’s the thought that counts. You can’t think about reading your bible and not actually read it because again its the thought that counts. You get where I’m going with this right.

Yup. I think we are mostly focused on doing things with God when everything aligns perfectly. Like waking up at the perfect time, setting the right mood, being in the spirit, journal ready etc. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to prepare yourself to fellowship with God. But sometimes, you simply have to act. Half of the time, the conditions won’t be perfect and that’s not what matters to God. What matters to Him are our actions. Doing regardless of the conditions we find your ourselves in.

I hope this encourages you to DO today. Worship in the shower, pray while washing baby bottles, praise while doing laundry, read the Bible while working on orders.

It’s just like having your best friend on a video call while doing your chores, do God with your day, do God today.

Ps. I don’t know where I’ll be posting these pieces. But for now, this is where we are.

Diary of a trying Christian.

19th Aug 2024